Change
by ClumsyKnowItAll
Summary: 'I thought I was fine, but I guess I was wrong. Being with him right now isn't going to be good for either one of us, I guess being wrong about something so complicated is going to cost a lot.'


**I hope you find all the song refs. The guy in this fic will be referred to as him, just him and he, no name. You guys imagine any man you want. Welcome to day 7.**

* * *

'I thought you loved him?' came Harry's voice from across the table.

'I-I do love him, but it's not so easy.' she sighed back at him, not looking up from her cup of whatever it was that Harry had ordered.

'I thought I was fine, but I guess I was wrong. Being with him right now isn't going to be good for either one of us, I guess being wrong about something so complicated is going to cost a lot.' Hermione had thought that after the war she was fine, that she didn't need as much time as Ginny did and she could handle a relationship. She was wrong, now she 's involved with someone and doesn't know how to break it to him. It wasn't like she didn't love him because she did just not the way he wanted her too.

'Well anyway Hermione, I'm glad you've finally realised that he is not good for you.'

Hermione just nodded, still mulling things over.

* * *

Staring out the window of the cottage she was currently staying in, she thought back to what Hermione would be doing if he was here. They'd probably be curled up on one of the armchairs while he curled a piece of her hair around his finger.

She had to stop thinking about him. They'd broken up yesterday and she could still feel his grip on her hand tightening, she could still see his eyes filling with tears and hear his voice cracking as he pleaded for her to stay and 'Don't leave me, I need you and your love' over and over again. But she had been cruel and unfeeling as she walked away leaving him on the stairs on his knees as he cried out for her.

Staring at the fire she watched the flame lick up the wood, she watched the flames dance around as if they were mocking her. Glancing back at the clock her thoughts once again drifted to him. She'd bet that right now he was drinking a fire whiskey and she could only hope that he was doing better than the last time she'd seen him which had been last week when they'd broken up.

If they were still together then he would be drinking and trying to force the burning liquid down her throat. Sometimes it'd be playful and they'd laugh it off but other times he'd get angry and… She had to stop this, thinking of him. Sometimes she pictured him as the villain, sometimes as he the angel and she villain. This relationship had made quite the mess.

* * *

It had been 6 months since she had last seen him or heard his voice. Sometimes she still dreamt of him. She still felt tempted to go to him and still hoped that everything could've worked out between them, the way it would have if this was a movie. Hermione wanted him to know that every time she didn't go to him, she almost did. But she was six months older and wiser now, and even though she was tempted to go back to him she still remembered the pain she felt and the mess they'd made.

Hermione wasn't only recovering from her failed relationship but also from the war. She still woke up screaming and crying sometimes but the fact that there was no one there to hold her sometimes made her cry even more.

* * *

10 months sober, she was now 10 months sober of him. She was 10 months older and more mature. Her nightmares were getting better and her she felt more in control of herself. Her thoughts of him were still there and took up most of her day but in a different way. Hermione often looked back at their relationship and now that it had been 10 months she saw how toxic it was.

They were both messed up after the war, both of them were losing control especially her. Growing up the way he had made him stronger when he was faced with rape and murder, it wasn't the war that had killed him or messed him up no, growing up he had lost himself and being with her reminded him. Being controlling would've given him some sick sense of control and with the house, he had grown up in, it was a surprise he wasn't more messed up. Maybe he was more messed up than he let on though. Maybe he just needs the right one to come along she guessed.

Around him it was like walking on eggshells, around him she doubted herself, around him she was extra careful, around him she counted her breath. Their relationship was like a game but the rules to the game changed every day, he changed every day. She was always careful not to set him off but his changing moods and rules almost made it like trying to get the Room of Requirement to present food or trying to apparate somewhere you've never gone.

She remembered her first day at the cottage, looking out the window and thinking about how he'd be gulping down whiskey and she'd be there, perched on his lap in something scandalous he'd bought for her all the while trying to get his tightening hands off the back of her neck as he tried to get her to 'drink up' as well.

Yes, they had made happy memories together but each and every one of them was attached to a bad one. Take the picnic they'd had in a muggle park, every time she thought about it a big smile graced her lips but then she'd remember what had taken place as they left the park and think why she hadn't noticed before. Why hadn't Hermione noticed his obsessive possessive behaviour before? Why hadn't she seen how toxic their relationship had been before?

SIghing Hermione looked away, maybe it was time for her to leave the cottage.

* * *

A month, it had been a month since she had left her cottage and exactly a year since she had seen him. A year ago she had broken up with him and moved to the cottage in the middle of the woods. This year, she had wanted to spend the day not being holed up in her room and crying over him. So she had stepped out, but that was the wrong decision. The wizarding equivalent of paparazzi had been after her snapping pictures of the muggle-born witch who had basically been missing for a year after a break up (the break up had been all over the papers supposedly) and then when she had escaped into a bar she had seen him. With a witch in his arms, once again she'd felt like the messed up girl after the war who was trying not fall apart because she was feeling so much. She felt like going to the bathroom and crying or better yet- back to her lovely cottage. But no, she was Hermione Granger, the same Hermione Granger from Hogwarts who got disappointed when exams were cancelled, the same one who defeated Voldemort and stood up for house-elves.

Deciding to grab a bar stool she walked forward with her head held high, ignoring the stares and whispering and sat down. Signalling the bartender to come she said 'I'll have one glass of whatever you recommend and is strong, never mind the price'.

'She'll have a 'Picture To Burn' then' came the voice of someone beside her. The waiter nodded and walked away as Hermione turned to see who was the owner of the slightly familiar voice. She turned to see Draco Malfoy sitting next to her which made her raise a single eyebrow.

'Picture To Burn?' she questioned, ignoring the thousands of other questions swirling in her mind.  
'You said you wanted something he recommended and something pretty strong. And seeing the way you just stared at him,-' Malfoy cocked his head towards her ex- ' before you walked up here, 'Picture To Burn' is just what you need' as he finished speaking the bartender appeared with her drink.

'No need for all that thank you very much.' Hermione said when the bartender was about to give her a straw.

'Bad for the environment.' she responded to Draco's questioning stare to which he just nodded.

Taking a sip of her drink, she swirled it around her mouth before swallowing and saying 'Surprised to say this but, you were right! Picture To Burn is just what I needed'.

He smirked back at her in the form of a response.

* * *

Draco and Hermione had been exchanging quick banter for quite some time now when Hermione saw him approach. Her eyes widened suddenly and for some reason, her hands flew to Draco's hand which was just near her drink. She had thought he would be surprised and probably jerk back or something but his eyes just hardened as he asked 'Is the bastard approaching?' to which Hermione had just nodded, not bothering to chastise or correct him for calling her ex and bastard. Some days she did too.

Standing in front of her was the man who had cost her so much. His eyes raked down her form slowly and Hermione had to resist the urge to squirm. Instead, she just looked at him cooly and didn't let go of Draco's hand.

'Looking good Granger. See you're finally back to earth, would you like me to give you a tour?' he flashed her his panty-dropping smirk, his words had both flirty and nasty tones to them. Mentally shaking her head she was about to open her mouth when the man beside her entwined their hands and said something instead.

'Actually, she's been back for about a month and we're kinda in the middle of a date right now so if you wouldn't mind, stop flirting with my girlfriend and back up ou because you're about to lose your girl.' with that he totally ignored the man in front of him and pulled Hermione up.

'Home?' she asked.

'Nope, snog in the park and then wild sex at home' he replied cheekily.

And with that, he snaked his arm around her and they walked away as if her ex-hadn't just heard everything they said. With that Draco actually took her to the park.

* * *

'Was that a way of you asking me out?' teased Hermione as they walked around the park.

'Why would you think that?' he retorted.

'Because your hands are still wrapped around me,' she looked at his face, 'And we're having a romantic walk around the park.' she added with a fake lovestruck sigh and look.

He shoved one of his hands into his pockets, shaking his head as he actually smiled. 'Maybe Granger, what do you say?' he asked as they stopped under a tree.

'Maybe. Okay, yes.' She replied as she wound her arms around his neck and kissed him.

They pulled apart as they heard the click of cameras and felt the flashlight up. Laughing, Hermione held his hand and asked 'Coffee? My place?'.

'Sure.'

* * *

 **Okay if you are a crazy Swiftie like me then hopefully you have noticed all the hidden Taylor Swift songs, lyrics and references. Most of them are staring at you in the face. Anyway as I said, I refer to her ex as him so you can imagine him as anyone you want.**


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